perceptive projection

Okay, I shall declare it before anybody that I cannot stand cheap men.

I come from a long line of family who always picks up tabs without any fuss. We don't live above our means which means when we go out to eat, it means we can afford it. And if we invite people to go with us to eat that means we can afford to pay for those people also.  This goes for the men and women in my family. And because my family is very paternal, when the women behave like that, the men, of course, behave even more so. The women in my family are gentleman women, the men are the gentlemen of gentlemen.

Even now, with my brother, when he goes out even just to study group, I'd make sure he carries enough money that at least he can pay for his own food. I always tell him, be smart! but never in debt to anyone.  We rather that we don't do anything if it is going to make us owe anyone.

So, when I go with a guy who invited me to go out with a bunch of his friends, I find it embarrassing when  I notice that the guy acts as if he wants/expects/hopes that someone else would pick up the tab and pay for it and makes no move to at least pay his[our] share, especially there was an understanding beforehand that everyone or every couple paid for themselves. Not to mention I find it truly mortifying when then it was asked for us to pay up, after that person, who paid, waited around for the self-realization that never set in.

I have never had an underling mentality, don't understand it, don't want to understand it and don't like it. And men who do have such underling mentality better steer clear from me.